Ah, can you tell I’m back to work? The silence here is telling of life these days.
Stress, worry, stress, and worry.
When that happens I retreat into a shell, only tackling what absolutely must be done (and cleaning, always cleaning because that I CAN control).
With the longest winter ever, returning back to work, figuring out child care, a jobless and very stressed husband, [trying] to pay bills and buy groceries, health problem after health problem for each member of our family, and a baby who is having separation anxiety I have been dealing with my own mental health. For a while there I was scared that I was actually starting to truly be depressed. I noticed the signs of anxiety, the feelings of hopelessness and loss of control, the inability to control my thought processes. There were several times I thought about making a doctors appointment – our physician is a strong advocate for mental health and screens for it with every visit, sometimes discreetly and other times bluntly but I have ALWAYS appreciated that. With every snowfall I felt the pressure more and more, and I began to understand why many people struggle in the winter months. I also began to understand why it’s important to get outside, stay active, and eat healthy in every season – something I DID NOT do this winter.
Anyways, with the much anticipated change in weather I feel the fog lifting, the anxiety dissipating, and my thoughts focused less on the negatives and much more on the positives. With the changes in my mental clarity I am also beginning to make and implement plans to get healthier because that is also something I can control.
Frankly I’ve been wondering if this day would come again, I’ve thought about it often. About how my desire and passion for healthy living was put to the side as I dealt with a very difficult 1.5-2 years of health issues and then a complicated pregnancy and finally the recovery from that pregnancy and [ungraceful] transition to a mother of two. Even my love of cooking had faded and I really only cooked out of necessity. I still tried to eat balanced and definitely stuck to my convictions with feeding my children. We still mainly eat fresh food but our budget has shrunk drastically and so the quality of food we can afford has also suffered as a result. Since I have such strong feelings about food I have really struggled to want to cook or eat the food we can afford to buy. I realize that fresh is always better than processed but it’s still been a significant struggle for me and has had a huge impact on my motivation to live a healthier lifestyle.
Having said all that, I feel as though I am finally in a place that I can start to make some small changes for my health. I’m not making any grande plans that will be hard to keep with but something I do want to eventually end up doing is following the Autoimmune Protocol. I don’t think I can implement it all in one shot but I am going to try and implement it little by little. I also hope to get more active – walk A LOT, stretch and maybe get some other simple strengthening exercises in. I’m at a disadvantage right now because I’m having some major back issues but hopefully it all clears up quickly and doesn’t affect me long term so I can get going! Something else I need to get back to doing is seeing my chiropractor – I was lucky enough to find an incredible chiropractor before getting pregnant with Eden but with such a hard pregnancy and very limited finances I had to stop going but I know I need to start up again soon.
You also know that gardening season has begun and so that is a major source of mental health for me and I’m so excited for this years garden. I’ll be sure to post about it often!
Did you struggle this winter? Give me some simple healthy changes you think I should be implementing! I’m all ears!