Well as of last Sunday I hit the coveted 28 week mark. Although still VERY early to deliver (and I’m certain I won’t be delivering in the next week or so), hitting the third trimester and getting farther along, closer to 40 weeks the statistics improve drastically. I’m a stats girl, I like numbers, I like rationalizing through numbers and like looking at odds. I often browse medical literature related to any and all conditions I have just looking at the numbers and so 28 weeks? I’m liking the numbers more and more.
I remember a few years ago talking to someone who had a premature baby and she was telling me how the week after she gave birth an app on her phone that she hadn’t disabled gave her a notification that said “Congratulations! You’ve hit the third trimester!” She talked about the pure shock and heartbreak that message brought her. I remember thinking how awful that would have been, what a desperate situation. I can’t imagine being robbed of that much time feeling your baby on the inside and nurturing it like no one else can.
Given that I was so close to a similar situation I am not taking any day, hour or moment for granted. Sure sitting around sucks, but I’m feeling so much better than I was even a couple weeks ago and can do just a tiny bit more than I could before as well. I probably push myself a little too much on certain days and definitely pay for it the next day or two but I’m no longer stressing over every contraction or pain. I’m beginning to learn this new body of mine. Slowly starting to trust it and trust myself again. When I initially went to labour and delivery the day I was admitted I had NO clue what was happening and as the hours unfolded that feeling just got worse and worse. It was so unfamiliar to me, so scary. I’m extremely aware of my body to the point that when I explain things to doctors it baffles them that I feel how I do and can explain it the way I do. The things they may stress over I can 100% guarantee are not stress worthy things and sure enough every test will come back negative – they find comfort in that and I only want to say “I told you so.” When I was discharged from the hospital I was still in that scary place of not being able to trust myself with deciphering what my body was telling me and I was terrified to go home. Today I am closer to being that girl that can listen to her body and know what it’s capable of and when to stop. Of course, as always I push it’s limits and I probably shouldn’t – I could be playing with fire, but I’m listening and trying to be kind to it.
So 28 weeks has been a good week and I’m looking forward to 10 more of the same before I meet this precious babe of mine.