Post Partum Body

Hi Friends.

Posts are few and far between around here (what’s new right?).  I was hoping to have a bit more consistency on my year (plus 4 months) off but it turns out that having a newborn in the spring makes life pretty crazy.  If I’m not holding, rocking, or feeding the baby, then I’m probably playing with a toddler in the yard and/or doing yard work and planting the garden, and if I’m still not doing that, then most likely I’m cleaning the house or sleeping.  So – life, it’s a bit hectic right now but I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my postpartum body and I figured I’d write out a few thoughts.  This is a hot topic for anyone who’s been pregnant, is currently pregnant or thinking about/trying to get pregnant.  Some people will tell you while you’re pregnant that you should eat clean and stay fit no matter what.  Others will tell you to take it easy and eat what you want, don’t stress.  Then you have the baby and you begin to notice everyone else who has had a baby recently and the age old game of comparison begins.  On top of that you have people giving advice – don’t worry about your body, just enjoy your baby OR you should be working out 6 weeks after having your baby GET YOUR BODY BACK!

It’s an exhausting mind game and one that I wish I could say I didn’t participate in – but I do.  Still, I think there’s some validity to entering into the conversation.  I want to  break it down to solid truths for myself and by writing it out I hope that you can glean some truths for you as well, not only if you are a postpartum momma (regardless of how long it’s been!) but also if you are just a person that struggles with this topic in general.

Here’s the facts for us birth momma’s:

  1. You grew a human.
  2. That human changed you as a person – physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
  3. You will quite literally never be the same again.

Think about it – you nourished a rapidly growing person for 40 weeks (give or take some weeks), and if you are breastfeeding you are continuing to be the only source of nutrition for that person.

INCREDIBLE. MIRACULOUS. AWE-SOME. MIND-BLOWING.

I’ll never ever ever stop believing that being able to give life to another human is less than this.  I truly think it’s a sacrifice worth giving and if it wasn’t possibly life threatening for me I would hands down want to do it again.

Here’s some more truth:

Growing a human is HARD.  Even if you had the most amazing pregnancy ever, your body had to work unbelievably hard to do that.

When I think back on my pregnancy I know I’ll never forget the crazy amount of hard that it was and because of that I want nothing more than to HONOUR my body.

The truth is that to honour my body I must nourish it, move it and treat it with respect.  I must listen intently to what it is saying.  I must take time each day to understand what it needs that day and also understand that it’s needs are going to change each day.

 To honour my body I must work towards my healthiest self – physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

Will that take me down a road of weight loss? Truthfully, I hope so but it’s no longer my goal. My goal is health and your goal should be health as well.

Not a size zero? No one cares and neither should you!

Be confident and radiant in who you are right now in this moment.  Take steps towards a healthy you and eventually the number on the scale isn’t going to matter to you anymore.

As you nourished your child (and maybe still do) honour your body by nourishing it as well.  How can you give something to another person that you don’t possess yourself? If you are unhealthy physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally then how can you expect to nourish healthy human beings? Even if you didn’t grow a human and even if you aren’t breastfeeding, you are still nourishing those around you by what you give.  Are you giving the best of you?  If you aren’t giving the best to yourself then I would argue that it’s not possible to give the best to those around you.

More than anything I need to focus on me so that what I pour out to those around me (especially my children) is healthy and nourishing for them.

Here’s some practical ways I’m putting this into practice:

  1. Eating mostly whole “real” foods and very little processed food
  2. Listening to my body when it tells me that gluten is bad (even when I desperately want a pastry)
  3. Engaging in a hobby (hello garden!)
  4. Making time each day for me (hello early mornings!)
  5. Praying
  6. Allowing myself to feel all the feels and be honest about feeling them
  7. Being realistic about my to-do lists (bye bye spring cleaning wishes)
  8. Talking to people frequently and being intentional in relationships

I had a much different post planned out in my head when I started this, but as is the case so often I let my hands do the talking for my brain and it’s usually exactly what I needed to hear.

So here’s to letting go of postpartum body expectations and to embracing a healthy new me.  Here’s to letting go of the numbers.  Here’s to honouring my body so that I can honour those around me.

 

Garden Update July 31

Well, another 2 week garden update.  It’s been busy and I’ve been pretty tired lately so blogging hasn’t been on the top of my list.  However, the garden is doing pretty great!  I have a lot of cucumber’s starting but none that have produced anything, today I did some manual pollinating so hopefully I get a few!  Some of my peppers weren’t doing so great in the greenhouse so I cleaned it out completely and put all the plants on the deck.  I’m hoping they perk up.  I’ve had some zucchini’s, tomatoes, a pepper and of course greens harvested.  A lot of flowers have started to open which is fun for me, I’ve never really grown flowers before.

Without further ado here’s the pics!

July 24:

July 31:

Until next week friends!

Garden Update July 17

How did three weeks go by? It’s been a busy time around here.  The first of those 3 weeks was full of work for me, I worked 6/7 days which was nuts.  After that I spent time catching up around the house and garden and then we were off to Saskatchewan for a wedding.  This past week I’ve been doing things here and there around the house, doing a TONNE of walking (a post on that to come soon with an update on my health) and a couple night shifts thrown in there.  So to say we’ve been busy is a bit of an understatement but it’s been good, so so good.

The rain hasn’t stopped in what seems like weeks.  The yard and gardens are water logged and squishy and I’m really hoping for some sun this week to help the veggies grow.  Despite the lack of sun things seem to be doing well although my tomato plants are really begging for sun, a lot of the fruit is split on the bottoms and the leaves are curling on a lot of plants – sure signs of overwatering.

I’ve had quite a bit of harvesting to do, mostly leafy greens, lots of kale and swiss chard.  There have been 4 tomatoes that we have enjoyed and 2 zucchini’s which have been sautéed and loved.  The spinach and radishes are completely done, pulled and composted and I’ve replaced them with three different types of lettuce.   I thought we would be drowning in greens but actually we keep running out and having to harvest more!  I’m finding that I’m just becoming more creative in incorporating them into our meals and so far everyone has enjoyed it which is a very good thing :).

Despite me not writing posts with updates I’ve been taking pictures with intentions of blogging so here’s pictures from the week of July 3.

Now from the week of July 10:

Finally, this past week:

Well that’s it for now.  Hopefully this week I’ll have time to do some more blogging that’s not just gardening.

Ciao friends!

Garden Update June 26

I’ve been waiting all day to be able to post this.  I literally had these photos done by 730 this morning and here it is 1030 at night when I should be sleeping.  It’s been a good day but a day that has been full of family and friends being together and the in between has been time to sit and just be.  So I may pay for this in the morning but I really wanted to get this update up.

The garden is thriving and I couldn’t be happier.  We are now enjoying garden goodies daily.  One of my regrets is not planting more lettuce earlier on but I will be planting more this week.

Let’s start in the big garden, the tomatoes are doing lovely.  I must admit though, they are now getting to the point of growing like crazy and I’m a little overwhelmed with the upkeep.  I thought I’d be able to do weekly up keeping but I’m finding it now has to be done every few days.  I can’t complain though, they have some beautiful looking tomatoes on them!

 

I have thinned everything out to the best of my ability and now it’s just weeding and harvesting to do.  One variety of carrot did really well, the other is pretty sparse.  The seeds were a few years old so that’s likely why.  My terrible planting is really evident by how much (or little) space is between things.  I’ll be pulling all the radishes this week.  We aren’t huge radish eaters so I didn’t plant a lot but what I did plant has done really well.  I’m actually really impressed because I’ve tried to grow them several times with no luck.  The three varieties of lettuce I tried growing did absolutely nothing – there is some romaine growing though.  In the place of the radishes and where the lettuce didn’t grow I’ll be planting a mixed variety of lettuce which I have been growing in a container and we really like.  I’m not sure how the beets are doing, but judging by their tops I think they are ok.  The spinach and kale are doing really great, I did a big harvest today which is almost gone already, we are eating greens like crazy lately.

Now the smaller garden:

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The butternut squash plants are struggling, I’m not sure if I let them grow too long in small pots before planting them.  I’m going to pick up a plant tonic to try out and see if that makes them happier.

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The spaghetti squash, zucchini’s, and cucumbers are doing well though:

The pumpkin seeds I thought were duds finally sprouted.  I doubt anything will produce from them but I’m willing to wait and see.

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The flowers are doing well other than the Violas which I’m pretty sure never germinated, there are some plants growing there that I’m almost positive are just weeds but I can’t pull them just in case!

The greenhouse gardens are doing well.  Everything is coming up, some more slowly than others but I have high hopes.  I ended up deadheading the snapdragons after this photo.

The greenhouse plants seem to be doing well – the peppers especially.  The tomatoes I’m not sure about, one of them seems to just be shooting high with very little branches.  I’m interested to see if it produces much.  I’m really excited about the amount of blooms starting on the habanero’s and there’s a few peppers growing already.

The deck tomatoes are doing so much better than I expected and our container strawberries started to really produce!

Now it’s way past my bedtime and 5am is going to come quickly! I have some posts brewing in the back of my mind so I hope to get some time to jot those down.  For now I’ll just say see you next week! If you have a garden blog please share it with me, I’m obsessed with browsing gardens 🙂

Ciao friends!

Mid-June Garden Update

Well, now that we are already in the middle of June and the garden has been planted for two full weeks I figured it was time to do a catch up post in anticipation of starting a weekly update.  I’m very optimistic about this years garden, things seem to be flourishing early on.  I learned last year that it’s not what happens in the beginning that matters but the maintenance throughout the season that will make the difference.  This year I’m trying to be very intentional with things like thinning out the plants so they have the appropriate amount of space to grow, as well as pruning the tomato plants.

I apologize in advance for the length of this post but I do promise to try and get out a weekly update on the gardens.  Maybe I’ll even cut this into a couple posts, we’ll see!

When I left off last time we had just finished filling the two biggest gardens with soil and I was just waiting to plant.

Here’s what the greenhouse plants looked like before I transplanted them into the gardens.  I didn’t harden them off before putting them into the gardens which wasn’t the best decision but everything is still alive and growing! 


Here’s a snapshot of the containers that I had planted – they were doing well aside from the rectangular lettuce container that barely grew at all.  When I moved them outside the majority of them declined rapidly.  I’m ok with that, I’ll try some more again soon. 


It was finally time to plant! I planted 4 days before our last frost date on May 25 and had a slight scare with very light frost the next morning – thankfully it was just a scare! 

First thing in the ground was the squash plants and of course tomatoes.  I did 24 in the large garden and 14 in the medium one.  My husband saw me struggling and was kind enough to help out 🙂 . Then over the next couple days I planted the rest of the seeds.  I (very) roughly followed a square foot pattern and it seemed to work ok.  Definitely not the wisest or prettiest ways to plant but it worked.  Also I’m actually really terrible at the planting of seeds part of gardening but I’m trying to get better at it as well as thinning out the young plants to make room for actual growth.  


Finally, here’s some progression shots in chronological order – my favourite way to see progress! 

May 26


May 28 (flower seedlings started in the greenhouse) 


May 31


June 1: repotting the remaining tomato plants (18).  I’ve since got rid of 9 of those, I’m growing 4 on the deck and 5 in the greenhouse. 



June 6



June 9 


June 11


Ok, I think that’s enough for now! You’ll notice that I’m still obsessed with coffee 🙂

If you don’t already – be sure to follow me on Instagram for more up to date pictures.  I will definitely try to do weekly up dates – they are my favourite way to see how well everything grows.  

Ciao friends! Enjoy your week! 

I’m Not Immortal

It’s not often that I have health concerns – I count myself very lucky that I am a relatively healthy person (aside from that pesky genetic mutation).  I don’t often have to go to my family physician with any sorts of concerns other than my regular annual check up.  I make my rounds through my list of specialists each year and when I’m pregnant it all ramps up quite a bit as a precaution – so it may seem to the outside world that I’ve got a lot going on but overall I’m happy and healthy.

A couple months ago I started having some concerning symptoms – pain, intermittent nausea, constipation, feelings of fullness, lack of appetite and fatigue.  My closest nurse friends shouted from the roof tops – go the your DOC! I promised and promised and re-promised but I’m really good at ignoring and putting things aside.  I learned to live with the discomfort and didn’t really pay it much attention, often I’d think “hmm… it seems to have fixed itself” and I kid you not, each time I thought that I’d get the now familiar jab to my abdomen – a reminder that something is still not quite right.  Then about a month ago my body sent me an alarm that can’t be shoved to the side or ignored – unbelievable constant heartburn.  That was my final straw to finally go and see my physician.

I work in two different places – both in Oncology and so I realize my view of the world is very skewed yet with every new diagnosis I see I think to myself – a few days ago they thought they were healthy and now their world is turned upside down.  It’s a big joke in the Oncology nursing world that we all think we have cancer at the slightest headache, but it really is impossible to get that out of your head when sometimes that’s all it takes for someone to come in to their Dr and be diagnosed.  I don’t actually think I have cancer but historically in my life I get ominous feelings – a feeling of knowing something isn’t quite right before I get an actual diagnosis.  My infertility and PCOS is a prime example – I didn’t need a full work up to know exactly what was going on and I wasn’t surprised or shocked at the diagnosis.  It was the same with my Marfan’s diagnosis – I got the phone call and a sympathetic genetic counsellor on the other end saying “I’m sorry, it’s come back positive,” cheerily I said “I thought it would! Thanks for letting me know!” She seemed taken aback – “you don’t sound upset or surprised” and I replied “Well, I’ve been assuming that’s the correct diagnosis most of my life so it’s actually nice to finally have a confirmation.”

This week my current symptoms have been screaming at me – I can’t tell you if they are truly worse or if my final acknowledgement of them have made them more real to me.   This time is a bit different than every other medical issue I’ve had – I have not a clue what’s going on and my only assumption is the worst one.  My Dr is quite stumped as well and can only offer that maybe it’s a mechanical bowel issue – I’m almost certain that it’s not but I’m willing to test out that theory.  My blood work is almost perfect – but that’s not very reassuring for me, I almost wish it wasn’t so at least we’d have a direction.  We’ve talked about lifestyle and diet – I thought at the beginning it was stress related due to my work situation, I changed that up and have no work or home related stress at all – symptoms persisted.  I know my diet isn’t perfect but compared to the vast majority of the North American population it’s pretty close to being flawless, I make an effort to drink a lot of water, eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, avoid processed foods of any kind, no refined sugar of any kind.  Of course I treat myself here and there and maybe I just need to be more strict – so in hopes of figuring it all out I’m going to once again get my diet to a strict gluten, sugar, dairy free diet, maybe that’ll help.

It’s really rare for me to be concerned or worried about anything health related – even cardiac wise, which is my biggest risk, I have a carefree attitude but this time around I just can’t shake it.  I think for the most part as I’ve gotten older, and as I have started a family, I realize that I’m not a superhero that can survive everything.  I am but a mere mortal at the mercy of whatever gets thrown my way.

I don’t mean to be so negative and really I don’t think I have cancer, and to be honest I just needed to get this all out as some stress release.  I’m just ready to start feeling well again and the more days that pass the farther and farther away that feeling gets.  Right now my norm is naps in the day and sleeping from 730pm to 7 am.  I used to be able to clean the house, do the laundry and prepare the food all in a day, recently I can only do a portion of a couple of those things throughout the day and the rest of my day is spent resting.  I’ve taken for granted my health in the past and today I am thankful for an incredible health care system (even a broken one) which includes an amazing GP who truly listens and investigates concerns.

Monday’s in the Garden

I’m back to the grind of 6 day work weeks – whomp whomp.  It’s really not as bad as I sometimes make it out to be since I actually love both of my jobs the problem lies in the jobs I also love at home! The garden is on that list and this week is more of the same!

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My pumpkins still have no actual pumpkins but they have been producing lots of male flowers.  I read a tip on Instagram about taking off all the male flowers until a female shows up on the scene, so I’ve been diligently picking the flowers.  I’m hopeful for at least one tiny little pumpkin that I can make pumpkin pie with.  I’ll settle for a pumpkin tart even!

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All my flowers are not yet flowering and I’m becoming more and more impatient!  These are the morning glories – they are doing lots of climbing and no blooming.

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Sweet peas are more of the same – lots of climbing no blooms.

Here’s some excitement! One of my peppers is turning red! Hooray!
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The zucchini aren’t fabulous – I had this big (or little) ol’ dud and two more that weren’t duds but weren’t big or fabulous (scroll down to see them)
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There’s still hope for some bigger and better zucchini though! Seems to be lots going on.
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The tomatoes are still out of control, and I’m still at a loss at how to control them.  I just tie this one to that one and tie that bamboo stick to the side etc. etc.  It’s a hot mess for sure, but I’m still so proud of them!

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My Zinnia’s are so close to blooming it’s not even funny! Next year I will start all my flowers from seed – hopefully in a greenhouse!

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My corn seems to be doing ok.  It’s so interesting to me watching every day what develops in the garden.  I’ve seen corn grown before but I’ve never closely observed each step the plant has to go through to eventually produce and supply our food.

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In this garden the onions, peas, zucchini and flowers are growing well.  On the other hand the cucumbers, squash, carrots, beets and broccoli I am losing hope for.  I’m going to be patient to the end of the season though!

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I went to a local greenhouse to buy a plant for a friend and they happened to be having a 50% off sale on roses.  I’ve never thought about/desired to plant roses but the sale all of a sudden put visions of pretty cut roses in my head.  I bought these two varieties and planted them on the opposite side of the yard from the gardens.  I had no plans for that side of the yard but now I’m liking the extra foliage over there.

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I’ve been eating a handful of cherry tomatoes and peas each night this week.  Not enough to make a substantial snack but enough to let me enjoy the fruits of my labour.  I also picked the two zucchini’s which were becoming odd shaped.  I’m going to have to research why that happens.

How are you garden’s coming along??

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