Category Archives: Simplified Living

2019 Check In

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Well, we are almost half way through February but honestly it feels as thought 2019 has been here forever.  Anyone else feel that way? I usually don’t relate a lot to January being the longest month of the year but this year it really felt that way! Despite that, I think we had a pretty good month around here.  Nothing huge or spectacular but nothing memorably terrible either – so that’s a win!

Health wise my back seems to be progressing in the wrong direction, but I’m feeling at peace with my health team.  I’ve also been doing a lot of my own research on possible solutions (there’s not really any, and nothing is straightforward) and physicians who are more specialized in Marfan syndrome (the condition that predisposes me to all these issues).  Though my research hasn’t led me anywhere that gives me more hope, it’s helped me secure my feelings of peace about the physicians who are already working on my case.  In the last two weeks I’ve also become uncomfortable with my sedentary lifestyle that has been necessary but that has contributed to weakness and muscle loss as well as a 20 pound weight gain.  I’ve expected weight gain from the beginning but I was already 20 pounds heavier than my most comfortable weight when this all started so another 20 pounds on that makes my body feel much more uncomfortable to me.  Of course my diet has also been a huge contributor to the weight gain.  I’m not sure if there’s anything I can do about the sedentary lifestyle but I’m giving some serious consideration to increasing my pain medication frequency to accommodate some light exercises.  I’m also trying to make small changes to my eating habits – limit my after supper snacking, eating more salads and drink more water are the ones that come to mind right now.  Food has been difficult during this time because aside from my back issues I’ve also had a lot of GI issues popping up that we’ve been trying to deal with and figure out.  Loss of appetite, intense heartburn, and food aversions have been the biggest issues that has led to poor food choices just to get some food into my body.  Some of those have gotten significantly better so it’s time to COMMIT to making some changes to my habits.

In terms of my one little word and goals I have for 2019 I feel as though I’ve made a pretty good start.

  • In January I read 2 books (goal is to read one book per month): The Knitting Circle by Anne Hood and Educated by Tara Westover.  I recommend both, they were easy reads and really good stories.
  • For self care I got out of the house for an entire evening for some much needed girl time.  It was perfect and I’m so glad my husband nudged me to go when I was feeling doubtful that I should.
  • I have also made some clothing purchases! This is huge for me because spending money on clothes has been really hard for me to do in the last several years.  Making sure that I’m buying as much ethical clothing as I can has made me a lot more mindful of how and what I purchase.  Instead of just going out and checking items off my list to get it over with, which is what I would have done in the past, I am researching and thinking about decisions for days (sometimes weeks) before making a purchase.  Given that these items are much more expensive than fast fashion items I’m also going to be trying to take advantage of discount codes and sales which makes the process slower as well.
  • I have yet to get started on any new hobbies which actually makes me irritated with myself.  I have everything I need to start sewing and for some reason (fear of failure? Not wanting to go through the learning curve? Wanting things perfect on the first try? Having no one to hold my hand? All of those things most likely) I haven’t yet started.  I’ve made a lot of excuses that are truly not valid, so it’s time to just COMMIT.
  • The transition to plant based has been up and down.  I’ve tried more vegan products and meals and have enjoyed them but I’m not making any huge drastic changes (see above paragraph haha) beyond picking up new vegan food items each time I go to the grocery store.  I know it’s a long drawn out process but it seems more sustainable to me than doing an all or nothing approach.
  • One thing that’s not on my goals list (because every year I add it and every year I fail miserably) but that I’ve finally made the jump and COMMITTED to is a budget. This will probably be a whole other blogpost but I’m feeling really good about it and feeling much more in control and at peace with my finances and it’s only been a couple weeks!

OK, this is a lot longer than I anticipated! I don’t know if I can keep up a monthly check in but I think there is value in taking some intentional time to look at where I am versus where I want to be.  Seeing the small steps I’m already taking is encouraging and takes away some of the overwhelm I often feel when thinking about big goals.

Tell me how your 2019 has been going!

In The Garden

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I’ve been meaning to do a garden post for a while.  Of course I get inspiration at ten o’clock at night when I should be sleeping! I’ve been solo parenting for a week (my husband got a job! [YAY] but it’s in a different province [not yay]) and honestly I’m completely and utterly exhausted by the end of each day but also love the quiet solitude of the evening and I always find that I want to relish this time when no one needs me and I can do whatever I please.  So here I am organizing photos and writing a blog post.

This start of this years gardening season has been amazing.  It’s been full and busy and wonderful.  I hurt my back at the end of April which has prevented me from working but it’s also given me ample time to do little bits of gardening here and there.  Thankfully my husband did the majority of the physical labor before he left – filling the beds, emptying our failed compost, building a new flower bed.  I’ve been planting seeds, tending to seedlings, potting up and planning, planning, planning.

I started planning in February (separate post on that coming!) and then started planting the end of February with the peppers and tomatoes.  I didn’t order/buy any new pepper or tomato seeds the year.

This year I decided to grow a lot of leafy greens and brassica’s in hopes that I can try my hand at some fermentation.  So in April I started all the mustards, kales, cabbages, pac choi’s, and bok choi’s, as well as the lettuce that I hope to grow as head lettuce.  I also am trying my hand at growing more flowers than in previous years.  I’ve started snapdragons, sweet peas and marigolds.  The marigold’s will be scattered throughout the gardens as a form of pest control, the sweet peas will be planted in the new flower garden that is against the greenhouse.  I’m hoping to be able to grow a shade wall!

In May I’ve basically started and planted everything else! I started some pumpkins, butternut squash, spaghetti squash, watermelon, scallopini, and cucumbers.  I started them in solo cups because I’ve read they don’t like to be moved or root bound so I’m hoping this does the trick.  I also started some herbs, which I probably should have started earlier, basil, rosemary, peppermint, thyme, oregano – that’s all I can remember off the top of my head.

The last few days I’ve direct sowed almost everything else that we will be growing, aside from the beets which I’ll plant next week and some edible flowers which will be scattered around all the seedlings once they are transplanted this week.  The seeds direct sown – cilantro (between tomatoes and peppers), mixed edible flowers (between peppers and rest of garden), radishes (3 varieties including daikons), and zucchini in the large garden.  Carrots, spinach and arugula in the deck garden.  Peas, beans, and some lettuce in one of Ezekiel’s gardens and in the other morning glory, calendula, viola and bachelor button.  In the greenhouse shadewall garden Ezekiel and I planted morning glories and scarlet runner beans.  I decided to try out some garlic this year as well and planted some in the tomato grow bag.  Finally – where the compost pile used to be I decided to block off a small garden which will just be planted in ground.  I planted potatoes there today and will add garlic as well as marigolds.  I’ve started hardening most of the seedlings off and will start planting the gardens this week – I think it will take a while with my back the way it is but slow and steady wins the race!

Whew! Just writing that all out makes me realize just how much work has already been done! It’s amazing that none of it really feels like work.  This year gardening has been so good, with a 4 yr old helping along the way, bursting with excitement at every little change in the plants, and every worm and bee he sees, having a toddler running around my feet has been a joy as well.  I love to watch Eden as she explores the outdoors and learns what’s ok to play with/touch and what’s not.

Finally (thanks for getting this far!), this year I’m doing a new form of documenting over on Instagram which I’m really excited about.  I’ve been taking weekly pictures from the same spots, as well as weekly video walk throughs which I share in my stories and then save in highlights.  I can’t wait until the end of the season to watch the transformation in full.  I’ll share those pictures here as well for those of you who don’t obsess over Instagram like me :).  I’ll catch you up now and then hopefully be able to share them weekly!

April 29

May 6

May 12

May 20

There you have it! Until next week friends! Please leave me a comment and let me know what you are growing!

2018 Goals and Intentions

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So now that I’ve reflected on 2017 and I’ve chosen my one little word for 2018 I thought it was time to set some solid goals and intentions for the year.  I’m not planning on setting any huge goals, or having a million intentions and goals.  I’m trying to keep it very simple but I do like to have something laid out to guide the year, a plan of sorts – Type A personality at it’s best!

I’m letting my word ABUNDANCE guide my intentions and goals for the year.  This year is going to be very big and busy for us.  For the first time in four years we will be a two income family, we have a lot of catching up to do financially and so that is a huge part of what our year will be as a family.  I’m feeling seriously conflicted about this part of our year (I’ll be blogging that soon!) and so in an attempt to release some of that stress I’m really trying to establish some healthy practices that will help me cope with the busyness and stress and that is what my intentions are born out of.

I sat down and wrote out some intentions for my Body, Mind and Soul.  Here’s what I’ve come up with:

  • Body – I intend to place value on my body, to love and nourish it and treat it with respect by:
    • Eating food that fuels and benefits my body.  Stop sabotaging my health and wellbeing for the short term satisfaction of eating food that does not benefit my body.
    • Starting to move my body daily.  Do activity that I enjoy and builds strength.
  • Mind – I intend to grow my mind, to slow the negative inflow and replace it with positive by:
    • Stopping the endless scrolling.  Put my phone down, engage in the present moments.
    • Decluttering online.
    • Reading and writing daily.
  • Soul – I intend to recognize my soul as a valuable and meaningful part of my being, to nourish my spiritual being by:
    • Daily Bible reading.
    • Daily prayer/meditation.

I really think all of these intentions will be very beneficial to my wellbeing in 2018.  I feel like I’m at a bit of an advantage in being able to anticipate my struggles as I return to work and the busyness of work/life balance since this is the second time!

My goals are small, and I think attainable.  I hope to achieve more than this but I want to keep this list short and simple keeping in mind that I’m also building a business on the side which keeps me very busy in the downtime of my days.   Here’s the goals I’ve come up with so far:

  • Have zero credit card debt and have paid down other debts by Dec 31, 2018.
  • Be 100% gluten free.
  • Knit at least 1 garment for each family member (already started on mine!)
  • Learn how to sew (FOR REAL this year!)
  • Revamp the blog to reflect current life (happening this month!)
  • Complete One Second Everyday video (LOVING this app this year!)
  • Only buy sustainable, ethical clothing for my wardrobe (and local when possible), thus beginning a real capsule wardrobe.

That’s it!

I know we are only 8 days into this year but so far I’m loving it! Have you set any goals or intentions for your years? What about a word to guide you? I’d love to hear them!

One Little Word 2018

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TO THOSE WHO USE WELL WHAT THEY ARE GIVEN, EVEN MORE WILL BE GIVEN, AND THEY WILL HAVE AN ABUNDANCE.  BUT FROM THOSE WHO DO NOTHING, EVEN WHAT LITTLE THEY HAVE WILL BE TAKEN AWAY. MATTHEW 25:29

Well, It’s now Jan 2 and I’m late on getting out this post – but better late than never!

December snuck up on me, and went so quickly that by the time I realized I hadn’t even THOUGHT about picking a word for 2018 it was already half way through the month.  Then I felt overwhelmed and wondered how I was going to pick a word on time, and almost in an instant a word came.

ABUNDANCE

It instantly resonated with me and initially I was thinking of the physical manifestations of abundance, namely health and wealth.  Those are the two things I desire the most right now in life and so naturally those were the two things that came to mind right away.  As I mulled over this word, ABUNDANCE, I had this deep feeling that it wasn’t just about money and physical health but so much more.  Yes those are my two biggest “needs” at this point, and we as a family are believing for those still but there’s more than just believing.

I want to live ABUNDANTLY in every area – in motherhood, marriage, career, mental, physical, spiritual.  I want ABUNDANT living to permeate every part of my being – but here’s what I’m coming to know and understand – to live ABUNDANTLY we must abandon those things that keep us away from ABUNDANCE.  My mindset must change from a poverty mindset to an ABUNDANT mindset.  I’m not just talking about monetary poverty, I believe my generation has grasped on to this idea that we don’t have enough (money, health, talent, courage, time….), we are constantly grasping for more instead of being satisfied with what we do have.  I think this keeps us from enjoying the day to day life, it pushes us into a place of comparison (which is known as the thief of joy).  We take for granted what we have been blessed with in this moment and instead of being blessed with more we just work ourselves into what we believe we have (less health, money, talent, courage….).  It’s like a self fulfilling prophecy and I am ready to break the cycle of this in my life.

Instead of saying:

  • I can’t…
  • I won’t…
  • I don’t have…
  • I am lacking…
  • I’m not…

I will say:

  • I can
  • I will
  • I have
  • I lack nothing
  • I AM

I will live in faith that I DO have everything I need.  I will be far more generous knowing that what I have been given was meant to be given to those around me.  I will no longer hoard time, money, love, joy, I will give freely in faith that what is given will be returned in ABUNDANCE.

So, as I move from a year of rest to a year of serious hustle I hope to be daily reminded that a poverty mindset keeps me from living a full and balanced life.

ABUNDANCE

I’m ready for you.

On Doing “It All”

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I get a lot of comments about how I look like I’m able to do it all, how I’m able to get so much accomplished, how I can keep my house so clean.  I get so many comments that sometimes I start to feel bad.  If you go on Instagram and browse through some feeds of mothers, a common theme will be “keeping it honest” and making sure that everyone knows you are not perfect.  Then you get pictures of piled high laundry, toys everywhere, dishes in the sink with a caption about how you should leave it all and just play with your kids.  Instead of relieve me of need to clean it just makes me feel guilty for needing to clean instead of play.  I chose the word “need” intentionally because friends, if I don’t clean and keep my house clean then I am a moody mess of a mom and definitely no fun to play with.

Even as “clean” as my house looks there are a lot of things that are filthy! I’m really good at keeping my house tidy and orderly, keeping the floors clean and the bathrooms scrubbed.  I’m really really not good at things like cleaning windows, baseboards or walls.  So while it may look like I accomplish it all let me assure you that for every one thing I do accomplish there is a list of 5 that I don’t.

Yesterday morning I woke up later than normal but with a lot of motivation to get my house spotless and get a lot of my spring cleaning list completed (prime example of my “list of 5”).  Sunday I spent the day relaxing and honestly doing nothing.  My husband even made me supper and brought it to me in bed.  Due to my “day off” I neglected a lot of my daily rituals that make me sane and keep my house looking presentable.  I went to bed aware that my house was a “disaster” but vowing to get it cleaned up today.  Yet when I went downstairs this morning I was overwhelmed with just how much there was to do and how much I wanted to accomplish.  I quickly realized that my expectations of the day were unrealistic, but it took me a few hours to really let go of those expectations.  During those few hours I was annoyed more than I was joyful, I was overwhelmed and anxious about the state of my house and about the gardening that wasn’t getting done and supper that I hadn’t planned or thought of and preschool for Ezekiel that I haven’t started and the list goes on and on and on.  On top of that Eden’s reflux flared up pretty bad and she was irritable, Ezekiel was going on and on about going for a walk and I was quickly losing patience.  My expectations were driving me crazy and so while I was feeding and rocking Eden I closed my eyes took some deep breaths and released them.  I adjusted my expectations and I let go of my need to “get it all done.”  I became OK with getting done what I could and letting go of the rest.

Once I did that it was incredible what I was actually able to accomplish and how joyful I became.  At the end of the day I couldn’t believe how I was able to turn my day from a very bad day going worse to a great day – it’s usually the other way around.  The only reason that happened is because I focused on one task at a time instead of focussing on my never ending list of tasks.  I was even able to check off a few items on my spring cleaning list.  As I went about the day I reflected on why it is that I am usually able to keep my house clean and organized and why I’m not usually overwhelmed by it – it came down to 2 words:

Discipline and routine.

That’s really it.

Every day I have a variation of a routine I follow, it’s constantly being tweaked to fit our lives better and to try and fit more into a day (think walks, park play, craft time etc.) and it’s revised daily to fit the needs of a baby with an awry routine but it works.  The only reason it works? Discipline.  There are a lot of days I just don’t want to put the dishes away, water the plants, pick up after my family, do the laundry, sweep the floors or tidy the things that have been left laying around but if I don’t I know the next day is going to be an uphill battle for me mentally.  This is how I keep my mental stability intact always but especially in my postpartum days.  A screaming baby is much less irritating to me when I’m walking around my house trying to calm her if my house is clean and orderly.  An inquisitive and whining 3 yr old is a little more tolerable if I’m not staring at a disaster that I’m trying to clean up.  My routines and disciplines didn’t happen overnight though, they were slowly incorporated into my day.

So as a response to those wondering why it looks like I’m always getting things accomplished I thought I’d give you a glimpse into my routine. Maybe you can pick up a habit or two and overtime feel like you aren’t drowning in trying to get your house to a tidy state, or maybe you are truly ok with leaving it the way it is – that is JUST FINE.  Honestly – you do you, but I have to do me for the sake of my mental health and relationships with my family.

MORNINGS

I’ve always been an early to rise early to bed girl so my mornings are a huge part of my sanity.  I despise waking up with everyone else and have to work really hard to be in a good mood if it happens.  Thankfully Eden has been sleeping long stretches (6-8 hours) at night and will wake up in the early morning for a feed before going back to sleep for another 3-4 hours, this is my wake up call.  I change her and feed her and then shower and get ready for the day after putting her back to bed.  It’s never a specific time but if she wakes up anytime later than 4:30 then that’s when I get up.  I have found it much harder to shower and get ready if I don’t do this.

After that I go down and get coffee, take my medications, put away any lingering dishes, wipe off counters, tidy anything that wasn’t tidied the night before.  I also do a quick check on the plants and water them if they need it.  I prepare breakfast for Ezekiel and I and have it on the table for when he wakes up – it varies from eggs to cold cereal depending on what I feel like.  He’s not a picky eater so this works for us and he gets very very hangry if he doesn’t eat.  I’ve found that if I don’t have it prepared we both get distracted and it gets very difficult to get him to eat anything.  Then after doing all that I sit down with my coffee and usually browse social media (or write a blog!) until one of the kids wakes up.

After everyone wakes up honestly the day takes shape as it goes.  I usually have some sort of plan for the mornings – whether that be a coffee/playdate, the zoo, cleaning the house, a long walk but aside from cleaning day I try to get out in the morning.  Ezekiel is an outdoors kid, and he’s also a kid that wants me to be with him and play with him always so if I don’t do something fun for him in the morning he gets super annoying with asking to do something and wanting me by his side always.  Eden is still able to go with the flow and doesn’t have a set schedule so for now we use Ezekiel’s schedule to plan the day.  Eventually two mornings a week will be dedicated to school for Ezekiel – that will start in the next couple weeks.

Lunch is around 12:30 and this is when I am able to do a tidy of the house and kitchen in particular because I eat a lot faster than Ezekiel.  While he’s finishing his meal I’m checking off tasks (sweep the kitchen, fold the laundry, start supper prep, do the dishes etc.), I get as many as I can off the list.  Then we all go upstairs and Ezekiel gets to watch one Netflix episode – if Eden is content this is another time I can do a quick tidy upstairs which usually includes putting away clothes, picking up whatever has been left behind in our various trips up and down the stairs.

Nap time is usually 1:30 or 2 and thankfully it’s almost always nap time for them both so I get a bit of a break.  I always take 30-60 minutes just to sit, sometimes I read, sometimes I watch a TV episode but it’s usually with a coffee in hand.  After taking time for myself I start to get supper prepped – marinate meat, chop veggies etc. so it’s easy to actually prepare when it’s supper time.  If I’m lucky I’ll get to do a “one off task” like mow the grass or bake some muffins and I base that on what I feel like doing that day or what desperately needs to get done.

Ezekiel will wake up around 4:30 or 5 and I make sure he has a small snack and we usually check in on the greenhouse at this time.  I sit outside with him if Eden is sleeping and it’s nice out, or we’ll read books.

Supper is around 6 or 6:30, we eat, clean up, tidy the downstairs and head upstairs for bedtime.  Ezekiel will watch one more Netflix show, both the kids will have a bath, we get them dressed, give meds and put us all to sleep.

Throughout the day I do a lot of 30 second tidies and that’s the key to my house being kept clean.  I should mention that Ezekiel is always responsible for his own tidying so he does a lot of 30 second tidies as well.  I also always do at least one load of laundry a day – it keeps it manageable and less intimidating, it also ensures that the clothes get washed and put away instead of just washed.

What I struggle with and what I want to start incorporating into my day is the spring cleaning tasks.  I usually look at it as a huge thing that needs a tonne of time to get done and I just don’t have big chunks of time anymore.  I can’t take a day or two and just dedicate it to spring cleaning because I have two small children who would not cooperate with that plan – as I learned yesterday.  If I start to add a task or two to my days my list would be done in no time and I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed by it and then if I kept up with it – like spot cleaning walls, wiping down baseboards every few months etc. it wouldn’t have to be “spring cleaning” because those things would just be done always.  So that’s what I’m going to do – start adding one or two tasks a day and hopefully that motivates me to keep those things cleaner than they are now.

Whew – that was a long post but honestly this is how I “do it.”  I’m so far from perfect though guys, there are definitely days that nothing gets done and that breakfast, lunch and supper are a variation of baking, fruit and veggies and that’s OK.  We need grace daily to get through the day and we need to remember that we are human – imperfect and flawed. No one will ever accomplish it all, where they excel in one thing they’ll lack in another.  So instead of focusing on where you lack focus on where you excel and just let go of the rest.  Your sanity will thank you.

 

March – One Little Word Update and Lent

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I’m entering March in amazement that I don’t have a baby to cuddle yet.  I’m at peace though, although I’m ready for this babe to come I’m ok with whenever that is going to happen.

With February gone (and boy did it fly by!) I thought I’d do a bit of an update on my one little word and what I’m doing this month to try and rest.  February I tried to incorporate meditation to my daily routine as well as a spending freeze.  Neither went perfectly but as I  was reflecting I realized that none of this is to achieve perfection, but to gradually better myself.  I did meditate over half of the days but never found a perfect routine – I’ll continue to meditate and try to get a routine going that works.  Of course with adding a newborn to the mix I’m sure this is going to take a while!  The spending freeze also was not a complete success (again) but much better than January – an improvement!  More than anything it made me very aware of what I was spending and where it was coming from.  My goal this year is to become and stay credit card debt free.  In a few days I’ll be able to officially say I have no credit card debt.  The trick is to keep it that way.  Sounds so simple but with a household on one very small (and about to get a lot smaller) income sometimes there are things that just have to be bought and the only way to do that is with a credit card.  The real challenge is deciphering wants vs needs and making sure that if I do need to charge something to the credit card that it is 100% needed.

Now for March.

I thought it was fitting that Lent this year started on March 1.  When I realized that I thought I could try and combine both my goal of resting more and of giving something up for Lent.  One year for Lent I completely gave up social media.  I thought about doing that again this year but then I realized that I wanted to do something that was actually long lasting beyond just Lent.  So I came up with limiting my phone time.  It’s a conversation I see a lot around social media and amongst my friends – the amount of time spent scrolling and looking through various apps on our phones has gotten out of control.  For me it’s really sky rocketed since being home on modified rest.  I’m often bored and to try and combat that I just look at my phone.  It was getting to the point that I would have to charge my phone twice a day just because I was spending so much time scrolling for no reason.  It was distracting me from really engaging with Ezekiel, it was making me procrastinate on things that are actually productive, it was numbing my mind.  When I was out standing in lines or waiting for appointments I’d scroll and scroll and scroll.  I had stopped engaging with the world around me as I stared at my phone engaging in the cyber world.

As I was thinking about this I tried to come up with something that would be sacrificial, encourage rest and realistic for long term.  I don’t want this to just be 40 days and then back to mindlessly scrolling my phone.  So I came up with limiting my scrolling to 3-15 minute sessions.  The first being after waking up, while drinking my morning coffee (if Ezekiel is still asleep).  The important part here is that it is not while I’m laying in bed right after waking up, it’s at least 30 minutes after waking up, giving myself time to think about my day and set my intentions for my day.  The second being in the afternoon while Ezekiel is either napping or having his quiet time.  The third being after putting Ezekiel to bed but at least 1 hour before going to sleep to ensure that my phone is not the last thing I’m looking at during the day.  Notice that all of my designated “scroll” times are when Ezekiel is not around to see it.  I don’t want him to grow up thinking that mommies phone is more important than what he is saying or doing.

I’m on day 2 of implementing this and it is actually way easier than I thought it would be and has already had such a positive impact on my day.  Yesterday I was at a long appointment that had several minutes of waiting at various points and instead of scrolling my phone I read a book.  Then I had several errands to run and while waiting in those lines I looked around and engaged with what was happening.  Again, while at home and not doing anything instead of pick up my phone to scroll, I read a book, baked an apple loaf, knitted, made supper.   It felt freeing and when I was scrolling it made me more aware of the things I was actually interested in seeing and what is important to me – there were certain people that I’ve been praying for specifically whose updates I wanted to see and so I scrolled quickly through photos and accounts that weren’t important to me to find the ones that were.  This was instinctive but was eye opening.   Today I am at home doing not much of anything because I am so exhausted from what I did yesterday, it’s a bit harder to not just pick up my phone but again it’s been so rewarding.  Right now my phone is still quite close to me at all times because I have to use the contraction counting app on it but that’s the only app I open outside of my designated “scroll” times.   I have the sound on in case I have a call or text message (which are NOT off limits during this) and then I mute it overnight.

I’m looking forward to seeing how much more impactful this is going to be in my life!

One Little Word Check In

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As part of my One Little Word (R.E.S.T.) this year I’ve decided to intentionally focus on one thing each month that will help me to dig into resting.  I recognize that this year is going to be full.  With adding two people to our household – one being introduced to Canadian culture for the first time and the other being a newborn who will need a lot of care and attention – it’s bound to be crazy and at times stressful.  So resting is even more important for me this year, it will be absolutely necessary for my health in every way.  My mental, spiritual, and physical health will all need to be nurtured and paid attention to.

January I decided I would do a “spending freeze”and not spend any money beyond groceries, medications and gas.  I wanted to be able to not stress about money and wanted to start the year off with responsible and healthy spending.  Well that was a complete and utter failure.  I brought it on myself by not planning properly.  I didn’t look ahead at the month and anticipate expenses, and so necessary (and super expensive) things like car maintenance came up and because I hadn’t budgeted or anticipated for it I ended up feeling like a failure.  After that I just threw it to the wind but at the same time I always had this nagging in the back of my head.  So instead of completely giving up on my financial goals this year I am picking myself up and trying again in February.  Today I sat down and mapped out a budget that included expenses that I could anticipate.  My knitting obsession was included in the budget so that I didn’t feel like a failure when I know for sure I would give in and just go buy yarn.  I also know that I have a ladies date day with some friends that will cost money so that was included.  Lastly this month is seed starting month and I need a few extra supplies, so I built that in to the budget.  I’m ready to be financially free this year and I am determined to make it work.

Instead of just use my January goal for February I decided to keep on going and also focus on meditation as planned.  This summer I started practicing meditation in the early mornings but once I got pregnant all of that fell to the wayside.  I know that there are so many benefits to meditation and I am looking forward to including it into my prayer life as well.  Mentally I know that I will need an outlet and a coping strategy when things get overwhelming this year.  If this pregnancy goes as predicted that stress is probably going to start soon with a babe born a bit too early (although we are trucking along very well so here’s hoping the predictions are wrong!).  I know that I am going to become obsessive over certain things like pumping enough breastmilk to meet the demands of a growing preemie and getting the house ready for two new people.  On top of that I know I will be stressed about splitting my time between home and the hospital.  I am hoping that being intentional with meditation and learning coping strategies to deal with stress will help me to recognize my stress early and take time to deal with it instead of push it aside.  I rarely feel stressed mentally but I have come to realize that although I don’t feel it mentally I am still stressed and my body eventually manifests the stress in other ways.

I am so looking forward to this year, to being able to have the capacity and time to focus on becoming a happier, healthier me and in turn becoming a happier, healthier wife and mother.

Hobbies are Important

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As I sat and knit while in the hospital on Sunday evening and listened to various podcast episodes I couldn’t help but think how relaxing it was.  I mean I was in the hospital after a preterm labour scare but I was at complete peace as I put my hands to work and distracted my mind.

Then last night I attended a craft night with one of my good friends where we learned how to make watercolour pillow covers.  It was a night of socializing, eating and crafting and after we left we both stated how relaxing it was.  As we sat and painted using our hands and distracting our minds we were relaxed.

Then again today as I sat in my bed counting contractions, knitting and listening to podcasts I felt a joy in what I was doing.  I’ve done very tiny amounts of knit work in the past but have rarely finished anything and certainly have never finished a big project like the blanket I am working on.  I grew up watching my mom do every type of craft imaginable – sewing, needle work, yarn work – seriously you name it she can probably make it.  I always wished I could do those things and I tried several times but just never got into it and then lamented that I wasn’t crafty.  I do a bit of crafting and DIY here and there but I don’t have a dedicated craft “hobby.”  I think the biggest reason that I’ve never been able to really pick up a craft hobby is because I’m a doer and goer – I need to be always doing something productive usually in the form of household tasks and organization.  It’s gotten a lot worse in the last few years since becoming a momma if I’m not doing a productive household task then I feel like I’m wasting my time.  Even reading – a hobby that I used to enjoy immensely – fell to the wayside.  In the evenings I’d be so exhausted that I wouldn’t have any energy to get more tasks completed and so my solution was to just go to bed.  Sometimes I’d watch an episode of a show I enjoy but usually I’d just go to sleep – I’m talking EARLY like 7 or 8 pm.

Friends, this is pathetic!

In the warm months it doesn’t feel so bad because I have my garden as a hobby during the day and so that brings me so much contentment but the evenings are still void of anything.  The thing is that evenings is a time where I could be spending with my husband while our little one is in bed.  We don’t have a TV but he usually will watch Netflix on his computer and I rarely am interested in anything he’s watching so I just go to bed.  Since being on modified rest I’ve realized the importance of having a hobby and I’ve realized that it is NOT wasted time.  There’s something about taking the time to craft something with your hands that is going to be an item for someone you love.  As I knit this baby blanket I dream of the little one that will soon be wrapped up in it and it brings my heart so much joy.  It makes the time spent so worth it, and I know that every time I look at it I’ll remember this time spent resting and willing my body to cooperate.  The memories will be knitted into every stitch and it will be beautiful.

Today I went to a store that sells all things yarn related and as I browsed and gently touched all the yarn I dreamt of the projects I could complete.  I’m so excited to have this hobby and can’t wait to continue.

What about you? Do you have a hobby that you enjoy doing? How do you occupy your evenings when the littles are in bed?

Goals, Thoughts, Wishes

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So I’ve shared my “One Little Word” for 2017 already, but I’ve also made a list for myself of some specific things I hope to see in 2017.  I’ve labeled the list “Goals,Thoughts,Wishes” they are 7 things that I’m going to work towards.  They are specific and I really believe they are achievable, two must have things for any goal.  I thought that I would share my list with you all as a way to keep myself accountable.  I know that I won’t nail every single item but I do hope to make some good progress on each item.

So without further ado:

  1. Home Pre-schooling – This is probably my loftiest goal by far but one that I’m really determined to do and try to do well.  Besides adding another wonderful child to our family in 2017 I’m most looking forward to spending the year with Ezekiel.   Some people keep their toddlers in daycare for the social aspect, and some make sure to put them in a pre-school.  I’ve chosen to keep him home for that extra one on one time during home-schooling and to save a substantial amount of money.  I’m currently working on researching and developing a curriculum based on where Ezekiel is at currently and where I think he could be at the end of our year.  I’m cognizant that this will have to be flexible but the important things to me is that we have variety, socialization (outings with friends, library classes etc.) and get outside to explore as much as possible so those will all be worked into our curriculum.  I’m hoping to start by mid-June depending on when this new babe decides to make an appearance so the next two months I’ll be in organization mode to get the curriculum finished up.  I’ll write an updated post before we start and maybe blog our experience as we go, there are sure to be lots of mistakes and a steep learning curve!
  2. Post-Partum Restored Health – Last year my health was so far from where I wanted it to be and although a lot of it wasn’t in my control, there are many things that are in my control.  I will be going gluten free again (this is a recommendation from my GI doctor and he wants me to do it now, so this may start earlier than postpartum).  I’m really looking forward to being home and having the time to focus on food, nutrition and cooking it was a huge highlight from my first maternity leave.  I will also try to be active each day – whether that be walking, yoga, or a home workout – moving my body will AGAIN be a priority.  This will be a struggle in the beginning given that I will be coming off of several weeks of modified rest and many more weeks of not being able to do much other than walk for a few minutes.
  3. Financial Stability and Wellness – This could be one of the bigger struggles coming up.  After 3 years of being a one income household and struggling just to keep up with it I’m ready to take back some control.  I’m researching and hoping to find a way to make some extra income this year to put towards my debt.  Luckily my husband has little to no-debt and is amazing with his money.  It’s my debt and payments that are the problem and so in 2017 he’ll be working and able to contribute to household expenses while I’ll be able to focus on paying down my debt and being smarter with my money.  I’m starting this one off with a bang by making January a “no spend” month.  That means that nothing more than the necessities will be purchased.
  4. House Decor and Maintenance – This one is big! The three years that we have lived in this house there are things that we’ve never done like clean the carpets and furnace ducts – I’m embarrassed to even admit that! I’m also really terrible at deep cleaning, I’m talking light fixtures and baseboards so I’ll be working on a list of tasks that should be completed within the year and splitting that up into 12 months to make it more manageable.  Then there are the wish-list items that may not happen depending on our budget like painting.
  5. Social – Last year we tried monthly dates and I think we only did three months – a terrible attempt.  This year I’m going to try to do this again.  With school, work and now adding another little soul to our family it will be easy to forget that marriage takes work and maintenance.  I want to spend time focusing on us beyond just our kids and responsibilities.  I’m also excited to start up some ladies nights with friends to keep connected and build a community around me.  This is something that I’ve lost over the last couple years and as I sit at home on modified rest it has been so apparent.  I’m a homebody but I also crave community and connection and I’m ready to get back to that.
  6. Family Trip – This may just be a week in the mountains, or maybe it will be a week in another country.  I have no idea but we need a trip away together.  I’m going to be spending a lot of time researching, budgeting and planning it well so that it is something we can afford to do.
  7. Gardening – My garden last year was beyond what I could have imagined but I’m dreaming even bigger this year! I’ll be narrowing down what I plant for what we actually use.  I want to plant even more flowers, get even more tomatoes and peppers harvested, maybe even sell some.  I also want to start the front yard landscaping project – this one may be put on hold or only partly done depending on budget but it’s something we’ve been dreaming of for a couple years and now that the back is more or less complete it’s time to focus on the front.

That’s it! As I wrote it out I began to think maybe this is all too much! Yet one step at a time is what gets you to your goals.  So I’ll be focusing on the small steps that will take me closer to each goal and I’ll be happy with progress whatever that may look like.

Happy New Year friends! Praying it’s the best year yet for you! 

 

One Little Word 2017

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Christmas is over and I’m feeling all sorts of emotions over it.  On one hand I’m sad that I don’t have my pretty tree up anymore.  I’m sad that the anticipation and Christmas with a toddler is over.  On the other hand, I love the new year, I love the new start and everything that comes with it.

This year especially we have a new start as our family grows.  Not only are we welcoming a brand new baby, but we will also be welcoming my husbands first son into Canada around the same time.  A short time after that my husband will start to work in the area he’s been studying for the past two years (and another 2-3 years before that he was studying English just so he could get into the program).  So 2017 is going to be a big big year.  I’m not huge into changes – yes I love fresh starts and new beginnings like the New Year, but these big changes and new starts that are coming are a bit over the top for me.  I like routine and predictability.  New borns are easy enough to deal with, beyond exhaustion and the normal newborn challenges you get to pick the routine as a parent to some degree.  You get to decide how that first year will go and from that a routine is eventually formed and it’s usually within your comfort level. Add a full grown child into the mix with their own ideologies, and ways of doing things at the same time as getting used to a newborn and a little bit of anxiety creeps in.  Then add a husband with a whole new routine and the unknown of where or when a job will start and my routined predictable life gets thrown out the window.

When I think of each of these situations on their own, none of them cause me any anxiety.  I can break them down, rationalize and deal with the changes (in my head of course).  If I put them all together into a timeline and how fast they will all happen, I get a little overwhelmed.

2016 was nothing like I had wanted or imagined.  It started with a lofty goal and dream that quickly got brushed to the side due to multiple health issues.  That dream is still on hold and I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever pick it up again.  The health issues that the year started with are still there and not figured out, although they did start to improve slightly in the summer.  Then, enter pregnancy and EVERYTHING that entails this go around and I feel like I spent the year barely surviving while trying to juggle family life and working like crazy to keep our heads above water.  Of course there were a lot of good times and good memories, Ezekiel grew in every way possible and seems to get more and more amazing with each day.  We are beyond elated to have been surprised with a pregnancy and cannot wait to meet this little one (well we can wait until March!).  We had a few little day trips and a couple longer trips that were all fun and worth it.  I discovered just how much I really love growing things and my gardening hobby grew a lot.  So yes 2016 wasn’t easy, but it also wasn’t terrible.

My one little word for 2016 was INTENTIONAL.  If you go back to this post you can read how I broke down that word into how I was envisioning it to work into my life.  When I read through that post again the other day my initial thought was that I had completely failed to work “intentional” into my year.  Yet as I reflect on 2016 I see that I was quite intentional in a few areas.  My health being the first, I finally allowed myself to recognize that something was wrong and I spent the first half of the year at appointments and tests trying to figure them out.  I had started to exercise again more regularly with walking.  I was intentional with my health.  As a mom  I was very intentional with Ezekiel and continue to try to be just as intentional – this one is simple for me, it’s actually just my parenting style.  I was also intentional with gardening and making sure that I was prioritizing my hobby into my life because I realized how much JOY it brought me.   I was intentional with my time off of work, I cut back my working days a lot and made sure that I prioritized time off with family and I allowed myself to not feel guilty about it or anxious about it.  So although my one little word didn’t get worked into my year like I had imagined it was still a year of being intentional.

When I was thinking of what my word would be this year it wasn’t hard to realize where God was guiding me.  December has been spent with scares of pre-term labor and other pregnancy related complications which has landed me on modified rest.  It was and has always been one of my biggest pregnancy related nightmares and here I am on week 4 of rest (with hopefully 10 more weeks to go).  Ironic that the last two years have been spent on high speed just trying to survive and finally I literally have no choice but to stop.  It was a rapid stop, one that almost gives you whiplash.  Once I settled into resting I realized that this is exactly what 2017 needs to be.  Not literally sitting and doing nothing, but making REST a priority in my life.  It will come in many forms and ways and I’m not going predict or theorize how it will happen.  What I will say is that I’m going to be reminding myself often that 2017 is about RESTING.

Have you made resolutions or picked a word for 2017? I’d love to hear them!