Author Archives: Ashley

2018 Reflection

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Well it’s been a minute or two since I’ve been here.  I only wrote 7 blog posts in 2018 and truthfully I wanted so badly to write more but my capacity to do so was just not there.  I needed to step away from constant evaluation, my brain was (is) in such a fog that processing life was incredibly difficult.  I couldn’t make sense of my current life, my day in and day out.  I lived in a dichotomy of hating not being able to work but also feeling very blessed to be with my babies day in and day out.

The pain I now live with is unlike anything I’ve experienced.  Not too long ago I was claiming that I could deal with chronic pain, that it didn’t change my life or what I was able to do and accomplish.  I’ve had pain as long as I can remember and it was true that it didn’t greatly impact my life.  This new pain though, it’s stronger, more intense and greatly impacts my life.  I’ve been humbled and have gained a new perspective and compassion for those of us living with invisible illnesses.  The pain definitely seemed to take over my year and if I allow it it could steal the blessings and joy that 2018 also brought.

I’m not about to let that happen.  So here’s what 2018 brought into my life that was amazing. I’ve been able to watch my toddler grow and develop, I’ve been able to be by her side and she hasn’t had to deal with as much separation anxiety as she would have.  She is highly attached and us being together has made her year much more comforting.  She’s growing into such an amazing and hilarious little girl and it’s been such a privilege and blessing to watch that happen so closely.  I’ve also watched my five year old learn and explore and imagine and create and have been astounded at his capacity to learn and his passion for learning.  We’ve embarked on homeschooling and I’d be lying if I told you it went amazing, we are still learning our rhythm and figuring it out but it’s definitely been a blessing.  I’ve learned to live in the moment, to adapt my need for control, to trust in the One who holds me close, to live despite challenges, to dream bigger, to crush fears, to pursue the life I desire, to accept help, to lean on others, to be humbled, to slow down.

My one little word was ABUNDANCE and 2018 did not bring much of the ABUNDANCE I was hoping for but it did bring an ABUNDANCE of blessings in the midst of challenges.  When I re-read my One Little Word post for 2018 I still resonate with everything I wrote. This year was the first year I continually had my word in the back of my head, I thought of it often but was usually sad at the thought of it.  Perhaps I am a step closer to where I wished I would be, though I haven’t even come close to that place.  I am still learning to let go of my poverty mindset, to switch my thinking but I do think that 2018 helped on that journey.  It’s a lifelong journey, not one I imagine I will actually arrive at but it’s time for a new word and time to focus on a new journey.

In The Garden

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I’ve been meaning to do a garden post for a while.  Of course I get inspiration at ten o’clock at night when I should be sleeping! I’ve been solo parenting for a week (my husband got a job! [YAY] but it’s in a different province [not yay]) and honestly I’m completely and utterly exhausted by the end of each day but also love the quiet solitude of the evening and I always find that I want to relish this time when no one needs me and I can do whatever I please.  So here I am organizing photos and writing a blog post.

This start of this years gardening season has been amazing.  It’s been full and busy and wonderful.  I hurt my back at the end of April which has prevented me from working but it’s also given me ample time to do little bits of gardening here and there.  Thankfully my husband did the majority of the physical labor before he left – filling the beds, emptying our failed compost, building a new flower bed.  I’ve been planting seeds, tending to seedlings, potting up and planning, planning, planning.

I started planning in February (separate post on that coming!) and then started planting the end of February with the peppers and tomatoes.  I didn’t order/buy any new pepper or tomato seeds the year.

This year I decided to grow a lot of leafy greens and brassica’s in hopes that I can try my hand at some fermentation.  So in April I started all the mustards, kales, cabbages, pac choi’s, and bok choi’s, as well as the lettuce that I hope to grow as head lettuce.  I also am trying my hand at growing more flowers than in previous years.  I’ve started snapdragons, sweet peas and marigolds.  The marigold’s will be scattered throughout the gardens as a form of pest control, the sweet peas will be planted in the new flower garden that is against the greenhouse.  I’m hoping to be able to grow a shade wall!

In May I’ve basically started and planted everything else! I started some pumpkins, butternut squash, spaghetti squash, watermelon, scallopini, and cucumbers.  I started them in solo cups because I’ve read they don’t like to be moved or root bound so I’m hoping this does the trick.  I also started some herbs, which I probably should have started earlier, basil, rosemary, peppermint, thyme, oregano – that’s all I can remember off the top of my head.

The last few days I’ve direct sowed almost everything else that we will be growing, aside from the beets which I’ll plant next week and some edible flowers which will be scattered around all the seedlings once they are transplanted this week.  The seeds direct sown – cilantro (between tomatoes and peppers), mixed edible flowers (between peppers and rest of garden), radishes (3 varieties including daikons), and zucchini in the large garden.  Carrots, spinach and arugula in the deck garden.  Peas, beans, and some lettuce in one of Ezekiel’s gardens and in the other morning glory, calendula, viola and bachelor button.  In the greenhouse shadewall garden Ezekiel and I planted morning glories and scarlet runner beans.  I decided to try out some garlic this year as well and planted some in the tomato grow bag.  Finally – where the compost pile used to be I decided to block off a small garden which will just be planted in ground.  I planted potatoes there today and will add garlic as well as marigolds.  I’ve started hardening most of the seedlings off and will start planting the gardens this week – I think it will take a while with my back the way it is but slow and steady wins the race!

Whew! Just writing that all out makes me realize just how much work has already been done! It’s amazing that none of it really feels like work.  This year gardening has been so good, with a 4 yr old helping along the way, bursting with excitement at every little change in the plants, and every worm and bee he sees, having a toddler running around my feet has been a joy as well.  I love to watch Eden as she explores the outdoors and learns what’s ok to play with/touch and what’s not.

Finally (thanks for getting this far!), this year I’m doing a new form of documenting over on Instagram which I’m really excited about.  I’ve been taking weekly pictures from the same spots, as well as weekly video walk throughs which I share in my stories and then save in highlights.  I can’t wait until the end of the season to watch the transformation in full.  I’ll share those pictures here as well for those of you who don’t obsess over Instagram like me :).  I’ll catch you up now and then hopefully be able to share them weekly!

April 29

May 6

May 12

May 20

There you have it! Until next week friends! Please leave me a comment and let me know what you are growing!

Spring has Sprung

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Ah, can you tell I’m back to work? The silence here is telling of life these days.

Stress, worry, stress, and worry.

When that happens I retreat into a shell, only tackling what absolutely must be done (and cleaning, always cleaning because that I CAN control).

With the longest winter ever, returning back to work, figuring out child care, a jobless and very stressed husband, [trying] to pay bills and buy groceries, health problem after health problem for each member of our family, and a baby who is having separation anxiety I have been dealing with my own mental health.  For a while there I was scared that I was actually starting to truly be depressed.  I noticed the signs of anxiety, the feelings of hopelessness and loss of control, the inability to control my thought processes.  There were several times I thought about making a doctors appointment – our physician is a strong advocate for mental health and screens for it with every visit, sometimes discreetly and other times bluntly but I have ALWAYS appreciated that.  With every snowfall I felt the pressure more and more, and I began to understand why many people struggle in the winter months.  I also began to understand why it’s important to get outside, stay active, and eat healthy in every season – something I DID NOT do this winter.

Anyways, with the much anticipated change in weather I feel the fog lifting, the anxiety dissipating, and my thoughts focused less on the negatives and much more on the positives.  With the changes in my mental clarity I am also beginning to make and implement plans to get healthier because that is also something I can control.

Frankly I’ve been wondering if this day would come again, I’ve thought about it often. About how my desire and passion for healthy living was put to the side as I dealt with a very difficult 1.5-2 years of health issues and then a complicated pregnancy and finally the recovery from that pregnancy and [ungraceful] transition to a mother of two.  Even my love of cooking had faded and I really only cooked out of necessity.  I still tried to eat balanced and definitely stuck to my convictions with feeding my children.  We still mainly eat fresh food but our budget has shrunk drastically and so the quality of food we can afford has also suffered as a result.  Since I have such strong feelings about food I have really struggled to want to cook or eat the food we can afford to buy.  I realize that fresh is always better than processed but it’s still been a significant struggle for me and has had a huge impact on my motivation to live a healthier lifestyle.

Having said all that, I feel as though I am finally in a place that I can start to make some small changes for my health.  I’m not making any grande plans that will be hard to keep with but something I do want to eventually end up doing is following the Autoimmune Protocol.  I don’t think I can implement it all in one shot but I am going to try and implement it little by little.  I also hope to get more active – walk A LOT, stretch and maybe get some other simple strengthening exercises in.  I’m at a disadvantage right now because I’m having some major back issues but hopefully it all clears up quickly and doesn’t affect me long term so I can get going! Something else I need to get back to doing is seeing my chiropractor – I was lucky enough to find an incredible chiropractor before getting pregnant with Eden but with such a hard pregnancy and very limited finances I had to stop going but I know I need to start up again soon.

You also know that gardening season has begun and so that is a major source of mental health for me and I’m so excited for this years garden.  I’ll be sure to post about it often!

Did you struggle this winter? Give me some simple healthy changes you think I should be implementing! I’m all ears!

Abundant Living

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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and praying about living abundantly.  If you’ve been here for a bit you’ll know that my One Little Word for 2018 is Abundance and that it’s less about having MORE and actually about appreciating what we already have.  It’s less about the physical and more about my mindset.  A couple weeks ago as I was praying through this I had such a clear message placed on my heart, I wrote it out on a piece of paper and left it to resonate for a while and I think it’s time to share it here.  I pray that it blesses you.

In times of hardship we tend to just “survive” to just “get by.”  We don’t live our best life and feel as though that’s an impossibility, we feel trapped because our circumstance is unable to change and so we accept defeat.  In our acceptance we probably make poor choices which don’t line up with how we “wish” our lives could be.

I’m using “we” here very lightly – maybe you can’t relate to this at all and I’m sorry if I’m clumped you into what’s actually my own reality or I guess what WAS my reality.

I spent the last 3 years in a poverty mindset.  I was working as hard as I possibly could just to keep our heads above water financially and because I was just barely making it work I thought we were poor.  That mindset that was initially only applied financially eventually trickled into all the areas of my life.  I came out on the other side quite literally broken thinking there was no other option and that it was just an inevitable consequence of my circumstance.  My question after reflection is: what if there was another option?  What if changing my mindset from thinking we were poor to thinking we had everything we needed could have changed the outcome?

Is it possible to be living a seemingly unbalanced life and still thrive rather than just survive? When our circumstances are not what we had hoped can we change our mindset to accept them and learn to live well within them?  Can we dig deep, work hard and get to the other side stronger, healthier and happier rather than beaten, broken and barely alive?

If we can (I really think we can!) what is the formula?

While I don’t pretend to think I have this all figured out, there are some things I think will definitely help.  These are things I’m going to try my best to adopt into my life:

  • Daily “me time” of at least 30 minutes.
  • Daily prayer and surrender – acceptance of what is.
  • Compromise – we can’t do it all, pick your priorities and let the rest go.
  • Accept the sacrifice and know it’s temporary, stop feeling bitterness towards it.
  • Find a tribe, confide in them and accept help from them rather than isolating yourself.
  • Eat well, sleep well and make time for movement.
  • Use oils daily for emotional, mental and physical wellbeing (the Abundance oil pictured above has been very helpful!)

I would love to hear your thoughts on this and if you have anything to add to my “formula.”  This isn’t an easy journey to abundant living but I’m convinced it will be worth it times a thousand!

Refresh and Renew

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Hello Friends!

Happy Wednesday!

I know it seems like I have been gone for a while BUT actually I’ve been working away at updating this space.  I’ve updated the information that was outdated on each page. I fixed up the menu at the top and made sure each post was categorized correctly.  I know on first glance it doesn’t seem like anything has changed but I’m feeling much better about this place.  It’s like decluttering a room that you’ve been procrastinating forever.  I thought about switching up the theme but I still quite like the minimalist design so I’m just going to keep it for now – thoughts?

So take a look around, familiarize yourself with the new content and let me know if you have any questions or blog post requests. I have some in mind and some in the works so stay tuned!

Ciao friends!

Peppermint Almond Chocolate Bark

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Recently Young Living got the go ahead in Canada to label a select few of their essential oils as food grade. Though in the US they have been able to label them this way for quite a while.

This opens up so many more possibilities on how to use the oils! Though the label is different the actual oil inside the bottle is the exact same so if you have the oil from before you can still use them this way.

I’ve been on a chocolate kick lately and have seen several versions of this recipe floating around the Internet. It’s not my first time making chocolate, but I normally use cocoa butter and cacao etc. This time I just wanted a fast and easy recipe and I thought it would be fun to try out some essential oils in it too.

This took me less than the time it took to make a cup of tea – I know that because I made it while waiting for my tea to steep. I usually have a bag of this in the freezer and grab a piece or two whenever I’m craving chocolate (usually daily!).

So without further ado:

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup dark chocolate chips
  • 2 tsp coconut oil
  • 1-4 drops peppermint vitality essential oil
  • Handful of crushed almonds
  • Sea salt (optional)

Directions:

Melt chocolate and coconut oil together. I prefer to use the double boiler method but putting it in the microwave in 30 second increments and stirring after each time also works.

Once melted add the peppermint oil to taste. I love lots of peppermint flavour so I added 4 drops.

Line a cookie sheet with wax or parchment paper. Pour out the chocolate and spread with a spatula. Top with almonds and sea salt if you want.

Put in freezer for 30 minutes.

Take out break apart and EAT!

2018 Goals and Intentions

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So now that I’ve reflected on 2017 and I’ve chosen my one little word for 2018 I thought it was time to set some solid goals and intentions for the year.  I’m not planning on setting any huge goals, or having a million intentions and goals.  I’m trying to keep it very simple but I do like to have something laid out to guide the year, a plan of sorts – Type A personality at it’s best!

I’m letting my word ABUNDANCE guide my intentions and goals for the year.  This year is going to be very big and busy for us.  For the first time in four years we will be a two income family, we have a lot of catching up to do financially and so that is a huge part of what our year will be as a family.  I’m feeling seriously conflicted about this part of our year (I’ll be blogging that soon!) and so in an attempt to release some of that stress I’m really trying to establish some healthy practices that will help me cope with the busyness and stress and that is what my intentions are born out of.

I sat down and wrote out some intentions for my Body, Mind and Soul.  Here’s what I’ve come up with:

  • Body – I intend to place value on my body, to love and nourish it and treat it with respect by:
    • Eating food that fuels and benefits my body.  Stop sabotaging my health and wellbeing for the short term satisfaction of eating food that does not benefit my body.
    • Starting to move my body daily.  Do activity that I enjoy and builds strength.
  • Mind – I intend to grow my mind, to slow the negative inflow and replace it with positive by:
    • Stopping the endless scrolling.  Put my phone down, engage in the present moments.
    • Decluttering online.
    • Reading and writing daily.
  • Soul – I intend to recognize my soul as a valuable and meaningful part of my being, to nourish my spiritual being by:
    • Daily Bible reading.
    • Daily prayer/meditation.

I really think all of these intentions will be very beneficial to my wellbeing in 2018.  I feel like I’m at a bit of an advantage in being able to anticipate my struggles as I return to work and the busyness of work/life balance since this is the second time!

My goals are small, and I think attainable.  I hope to achieve more than this but I want to keep this list short and simple keeping in mind that I’m also building a business on the side which keeps me very busy in the downtime of my days.   Here’s the goals I’ve come up with so far:

  • Have zero credit card debt and have paid down other debts by Dec 31, 2018.
  • Be 100% gluten free.
  • Knit at least 1 garment for each family member (already started on mine!)
  • Learn how to sew (FOR REAL this year!)
  • Revamp the blog to reflect current life (happening this month!)
  • Complete One Second Everyday video (LOVING this app this year!)
  • Only buy sustainable, ethical clothing for my wardrobe (and local when possible), thus beginning a real capsule wardrobe.

That’s it!

I know we are only 8 days into this year but so far I’m loving it! Have you set any goals or intentions for your years? What about a word to guide you? I’d love to hear them!