Well, we are almost half way through February but honestly it feels as thought 2019 has been here forever. Anyone else feel that way? I usually don’t relate a lot to January being the longest month of the year but this year it really felt that way! Despite that, I think we had a pretty good month around here. Nothing huge or spectacular but nothing memorably terrible either – so that’s a win!
Health wise my back seems to be progressing in the wrong direction, but I’m feeling at peace with my health team. I’ve also been doing a lot of my own research on possible solutions (there’s not really any, and nothing is straightforward) and physicians who are more specialized in Marfan syndrome (the condition that predisposes me to all these issues). Though my research hasn’t led me anywhere that gives me more hope, it’s helped me secure my feelings of peace about the physicians who are already working on my case. In the last two weeks I’ve also become uncomfortable with my sedentary lifestyle that has been necessary but that has contributed to weakness and muscle loss as well as a 20 pound weight gain. I’ve expected weight gain from the beginning but I was already 20 pounds heavier than my most comfortable weight when this all started so another 20 pounds on that makes my body feel much more uncomfortable to me. Of course my diet has also been a huge contributor to the weight gain. I’m not sure if there’s anything I can do about the sedentary lifestyle but I’m giving some serious consideration to increasing my pain medication frequency to accommodate some light exercises. I’m also trying to make small changes to my eating habits – limit my after supper snacking, eating more salads and drink more water are the ones that come to mind right now. Food has been difficult during this time because aside from my back issues I’ve also had a lot of GI issues popping up that we’ve been trying to deal with and figure out. Loss of appetite, intense heartburn, and food aversions have been the biggest issues that has led to poor food choices just to get some food into my body. Some of those have gotten significantly better so it’s time to COMMIT to making some changes to my habits.
In terms of my one little word and goals I have for 2019 I feel as though I’ve made a pretty good start.
- In January I read 2 books (goal is to read one book per month): The Knitting Circle by Anne Hood and Educated by Tara Westover. I recommend both, they were easy reads and really good stories.
- For self care I got out of the house for an entire evening for some much needed girl time. It was perfect and I’m so glad my husband nudged me to go when I was feeling doubtful that I should.
- I have also made some clothing purchases! This is huge for me because spending money on clothes has been really hard for me to do in the last several years. Making sure that I’m buying as much ethical clothing as I can has made me a lot more mindful of how and what I purchase. Instead of just going out and checking items off my list to get it over with, which is what I would have done in the past, I am researching and thinking about decisions for days (sometimes weeks) before making a purchase. Given that these items are much more expensive than fast fashion items I’m also going to be trying to take advantage of discount codes and sales which makes the process slower as well.
- I have yet to get started on any new hobbies which actually makes me irritated with myself. I have everything I need to start sewing and for some reason (fear of failure? Not wanting to go through the learning curve? Wanting things perfect on the first try? Having no one to hold my hand? All of those things most likely) I haven’t yet started. I’ve made a lot of excuses that are truly not valid, so it’s time to just COMMIT.
- The transition to plant based has been up and down. I’ve tried more vegan products and meals and have enjoyed them but I’m not making any huge drastic changes (see above paragraph haha) beyond picking up new vegan food items each time I go to the grocery store. I know it’s a long drawn out process but it seems more sustainable to me than doing an all or nothing approach.
- One thing that’s not on my goals list (because every year I add it and every year I fail miserably) but that I’ve finally made the jump and COMMITTED to is a budget. This will probably be a whole other blogpost but I’m feeling really good about it and feeling much more in control and at peace with my finances and it’s only been a couple weeks!
OK, this is a lot longer than I anticipated! I don’t know if I can keep up a monthly check in but I think there is value in taking some intentional time to look at where I am versus where I want to be. Seeing the small steps I’m already taking is encouraging and takes away some of the overwhelm I often feel when thinking about big goals.
Tell me how your 2019 has been going!