If you were to ask anybody – friends, family, all the medical professionals involved in my care – I doubt you would find anyone who could have imagined I would make it this far in my pregnancy. It truly is such a blessing!
This pregnancy has been the very opposite of easy, but every single step of the way from conception to today has been miraculous. It’s this fact that has carried me through without mentally hating every single second. My body has fought against this pregnancy in a lot of ways but I owe it so much for protecting this miracle baby of ours. I am at ease now, knowing that I will most likely be able to take my baby home when I leave the hospital instead of leaving it there to be cared for by doctors and nurses.
Despite all my gratefulness, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t ready for it to be over.
I am definitely ready.
The last few weeks have been difficult. My pre-term symptoms are increasing – most days I’ll have about 50 contractions and some sort of cramping along with it. Recently the contractions have increased in intensity and I think my body is preparing itself for the big day (little does it know that all control of getting this baby out is going to be taken away from it!). Half of the days I have really great mornings – like today I got up and felt pretty good – I baked, did laundry and planted some more seeds for this years garden but by the afternoon I am wiped and beyond exhausted. The other half of the days I feel awful for most of the day and night. The exhaustion is similar to my first trimester where I just can’t fathom getting up and doing anything productive. So most days I spend at least half of it in bed resting. I’m doing a lot more than I was before 34 weeks. I now lift my toddler if I need to, I carry the laundry up and down the stairs, I walk the grocery store instead of using their electric wheelchairs, I cook supper and do a lot of baking. It’s a start but it’s still not normal life yet. I can only tolerate a little of each before I need to sit down and rest. The extra weight paired with the extra relaxin makes my body ache more and more each day. The baby is uncomfortably low making standing and walking fairly difficult.
So I’m ready for D-Day and I’m no longer doing anything to stop it from coming. I’m daydreaming and planning for the days ahead when I have a babe in my arms and a toddler by my side. Some things I’m most looking forward to:
- Trips to the zoo
- Mom and tot/babe yoga
- Walking, walking and more walking
- Cleaning my house in one day
- Playground visits
- Transitioning all the rooms in the house to accommodate 2 new members
- Exercising to gain back strength in my body
There is just so much to look forward to once this babe makes an appearance. Of course I’m also keeping myself in check and being realistic to the fact that I will be having a c-section and will definitely need to rest for a couple weeks before being able to even begin to transition to some sort of normal. I think one blessing of being on modified rest, is that it has taught me how to slow down and take it easy when I need to. It’s broken my “super-woman” mentality and need to prove anything (mostly to myself and no one else). It’s taught me to know when enough is enough and it’s stopped me from pushing myself farther than I need to. All these things will come in handy post c-section when I feel the urge to clean my house 7 days after a major surgery.
So, I’m still here and still pregnant, anxiously waiting for a clear sign that it’s go time!