Something I desire so much to do but something I’m able to make a million excuses not to do.
It really is hard to find the time. With my husband at school late into the evenings most of the week I don’t have that time available. By the time I get Ezekiel fed, bathed and sleeping I have to run the diapers through the wash, pack lunches for the next day and all the little odds and ends to tidy the house at the end of it all I’m ready for bed myself. I wake up at 5 every morning so that I get about 30-45 minutes to myself in the morning with a cup of coffee and some blog reading – that is essential to my mental health and not something I’m willing to give up.
Yet even as I write out that excuse I’m counteracting them with arguments – if this was really important to me i would figure it out and make it happen.
That friends is the real hard truth.
As I continue on this transition to more natural living, being mindful of my body, mind and spirit has become a daily practice. Yoga is something that has always interested me but something I’ve been reluctant to really try out. I think a lot of it stems from fear – fear that I won’t be able to do it, fear that I’ll be worse than the person next to me, fear that I’ll let myself down, fear, fear, fear. In a spontaneous leap I signed Ezekiel and myself up for a mom and tots yoga class with a yoga studio here in Calgary that specializes in children’s yoga (you should check them out, they are amazing). Every Monday I have this dread of going but every Monday I leave the class feeling so incredibly grateful for that spontaneous decision.
Since starting that Monday class I’ve been more and more interested in developing a stronger personal practice of Yoga. Not just for the physical benefits but for the mental and spiritual benefits as well. There’s a studio by my house that I’ve been eyeing for months and looking up classes etc. but I keep putting it off.
Last year I was so active because I had the time and I developed a love and habit. This year I’m continuing to learn how to navigate my way through this journey as a mom. I recognize that it’s a journey and I recognize that I really need to adapt things in my life to reach my long term end goals. In this case it’s wellness – physical but also mental and spiritual (they all pour into each other don’t they?). So I’ve done a couple things to help myself towards that goal in small steps:
- I ordered a Fitbit (off Ebay to make it a bit more affordable for me). I’m hoping it encourages me to get up and walk for a few minutes several times a day to counteract all the sitting I do at work.
- Tonight I committed to 15 minutes of yoga practice each day at home. I pushed myself to just suck it up and do a youtube video. It was a simple relaxation 15 minute sequence and it was absolutely perfect, in fact I wasn’t ready for it to be done when it finished. That was such a great feeling. I’m not making any promises here but I’m going to try my hardest to just do 15 minutes a day – that time commitment is nothing in the grand scheme of things and if it’s anything like the rest of my life, once I commit to a small portion it blows up into the rest of my life and I become devoted. I’m banking on that, but I’m also going to have grace with myself.
Change comes with small steps, having realistic goals and expectations for myself is how I’m hoping to make a long term change in my life.