Busy but Slow

Wow it’s been three weeks since my last post! That little break was unintentional.

I’ve been feeling life shift the last few weeks and I’m excited about it – spiritually, physically, mentally little changes are happening.  It’s an organic movement – it’s the ebb and flow – it’s the natural trajectory of my life.  The garden is complete, the work from the garden is also done (more on that this week!).  The mornings are crisp and the days are cool.  The leaves are turning and the pumpkins are everywhere.  I crave books and coffee in front of the fire.

This is fall.

I’m so enjoying the fall, and especially since my schedule has calmed down a bit.  The thing I’m most learning in this new season of life is that even if my actual schedule changes to not look as busy – I still keep myself crazy busy.  It’s not a great way to go about life.  I’m addicted to busy, mostly because I can’t handle having a to-do list.  Yes I love lists but as soon as they are made I feel the need to complete them.  I’ll take on a task to completion every time.  There’s no slow moving through life with me – it’s finish one thing and on to the next.  I can’t handle boredom.

Yesterday I was reflecting on the difference between being hectically busy and just being busy.  I really think I am the one who sets that boundary.  Aside from my work schedule, I create my busyness around me.  Sure I have a to – do list but even when I cross one thing off I then add another.

This fall I am learning how to function in a slow but busy life.  I’m taking the time to prepare nice meals.  When my toddler is acting out for no reason I’m putting down my task and bending down to look him in the eye, kiss his pouty lips and take him up to his room where we can sit and read a book or do a puzzle in complete peace and quiet  because I now know that he just needs a moment of calm, quiet and peaceful play with his momma – that task can wait. I’m making myself a cup of tea and sitting down to read for 15 minutes in the middle of my day to recharge myself and listen to my mind and body.  I’m splitting big tasks up into little pieces (I’m revamping our office but doing it 30 min at a time) instead of becoming completely engulfed in the task.  I know that whatever “can wait” is a mantra often used by momma’s to justify the guilt that can come with not keeping up – and I’m finally understanding that piece of advice slowly.

So I’m still very busy but I’m working on taking out the hectic part of busyness.

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