Determined

I’ve been struggling for the past little while with how I’ve allowed myself to become sedentary.  A year ago I was walking daily and eating very healthy – physically my body was lighter than it had ever been but more than that I felt amazing.  Not only was I confident but I also FELT healthy.  I had great stamina, my joints weren’t always aching and I could tell that my body was in as good of shape as it had been in years.

Then the time came to gear up for going back to work.  The stress and the changes got the best of me, the winter made me stay inside and the stress made me eat alllllll the food.  Today I am 15-20 pounds heavier than I was at this time last year.  The number on the scale is not at all what I’m worried about though.  Today I feel far less healthy than I have in a while.  I’m often exhausted and fighting off a cold, my joints are constantly aching and my lower back is always on the verge of spasms, and I just feel sluggish.  I’m sad, embarrassed and disappointed at how I let myself regress but I also know that this past year has been a huge learning curve in all areas of my life and I know that it was all just part of a process.

I’m navigating my way through this labyrinth of ever changing phases of life.  I’m learning how to adjust my mentality and how to accommodate the changes.  I’m starting to understand how my body and mind respond to long term stress (acute stress I completely shut down).  This process is so important to who I am and who I am becoming.  More than wanting to feel comfortable and healthy in my body, I want to model a healthy lifestyle to Ezekiel (and my hopeful future children).

Today I’m refusing to allow myself to feel guilty, I’m trying to understand the best coping mechanisms and I’m promising myself to trust the process.  I’m implementing small changes daily that will impact the long term future in a big way.  I’m no longer just scrolling for inspiration but I’m putting in motion what I’m inspired by.  I’m going to use this extra time off to move my body.  I’m committing to learn some exercises to strengthen my muscles which will support my ligaments and joints.  I’m using essential oils as a complimentary form of healing and I’m trying to daily remind myself that nothing happens overnight.  I’m decreasing my caffeine intake and increasing my water consumption.  I’m reminding myself that there’s always a healthier alternative to the treats I crave.

I’m determined.

What changes are you making to live a healthier lifestyle?

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